I'm Not Ashamed
by Scarlett Rogue
Summary: In his Senior year, Dave decides to join Glee club but refuses to tell anyone about himself. However, when Warbler Jeff transfers to McKinley, he discovers that his journey to self-acceptance isn't over yet.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: In his Senior year, Dave decides to join Glee club to gain some real friends. But nobody will find out about his sexuality...that is, until Warbler Jeff transfers to McKinley. Just like that, Dave is falling all over again, and he finds that his journey to self-acceptance isn't over yet.**

**Rated: T probably for language and other stuff.**

**Author's Note: Yes, I am aware that I haven't posted a chapter of Never Too Late in about two months. I'm having a hard time with the final chapter, but it will be up soon, because I feel bad about leaving you all hanging. For now, this plot bunny will keep me company :) Enjoy!**

Dave stumbled up the steps of McKinley High School, keeping his pant-leg out in front of him. After stepping in a puddle of water and tripping _up _stone steps, his first day as a Senior wasn't going too smoothly. And he knew it wasn't going to get any better as the day progressed. He felt numb, in a way, knowing that today was going to change his life forever. This was the day that would define the rest of his high school career, his reputation, and most of all, his personality. He had been gearing himself up for this day for the last month, ever since he decided that he was going to join the New Directions.

It would seem strange to anyone who didn't know Dave, _really _know him, that he was going to join the _Ladies _of the pathetic Glee club. After all, how many Glee pictures were spared in the yearbook that the librarian kept on her old and dusty shelves? Absolutely none. They were all fair game, as far as the athletes were concerned. They were the bottom of the barrel in this school.

And Dave didn't _do _Glee. Sure, singing and dancing may be fun, but in front of a group of people? It scared the hell out of him at the championship game last year. He kept having this vision of himself either forgetting the words and standing in front of hundreds like a complete loser, or him getting kicked in the face by Finn. Which could very well have happened, according to Rachel Berry.

But it was all he had to hope for. He used to have some vague dream that he would tell Azimio the truth, the whole truth, and he would welcome Dave with open arms and a big smile and tell him that, _of course _they could still be friends, they'd _always _be best friends.

That was stupid. It would never happen, for many reasons. First, Azimio hated homos. He hated homos so much that he called them homos, not realizing how hurtful that was. Not that Dave was getting all emotional, but it just plain sucked to hear his so-called best friend criticizing gays. It felt like a personal stab at him. Second, Azimio was a total sheep. Dave liked to think that one day he would surprise him by basically telling everyone to shove it. But he never would.

So Dave was stuck. The way he saw it, he had two choices: Stay with the jocks and live a lie, possibly leading to a late-in-life scandal as Santana once pointed out, or join Glee and, at the very least, make a few friends who wouldn't hate him if they knew the truth.

Not that he ever planned on telling anyone. Kurt and Santana knew already, and that was enough. It wasn't anyone else's business.

Dave stalked down to the auditorium at the end of the day. His heart was beating too fast, his palms were sweaty, and his stomach was acting up in a way that could only mean he was nervous as hell. Because, although everyone who auditioned for the club got in, they still had to audition. Dave had to sing.

He had prepared for this, too. He would wander downstairs each morning for breakfast and catch his father giving him a weird look, probably wondering why his football-loving son was belting out broadway tunes in the shower.

When he walked into the auditorium he stopped immediately in his tracks and almost ran right out. _Didn't realize that hobbits were invited. God, he doesn't even go here!_

Blaine was leaning against the stage, arms folded over his chest as he smiled and talked to Kurt. He was wearing a short-sleeved black shirt that, to Dave's disgust, showed off the muscles on his arms nicely. Dave shook his head and walked down the aisle to meet up with the two.

"Hey Dave! Mr. Schue told me that you'd be auditioning. What are you going to sing?" Kurt was probably being too polite, but Dave liked it. It made him feel like Kurt truly forgave him for what he did to him. He nodded his head toward Blaine.

"What's he doing here? Didn't know this was an open audition."

"Oh, it's not. He's auditioning."

_Well, smack me in the face once more, please!_

"What? But, he goes to Dalton!"

"Not anymore," Blaine cut in. Dave was surprised to hear such a pleasant, friendly tone. "Had to switch schools this year. I figured if I was going to be at such a conservative school, I might as well make the most of it with New Directions. And you?"

"Along the same lines, actually," Dave grunted. It was easier for him to talk to Blaine now that he was sure he had gotten over Kurt, but it still felt weird to have a pleasant conversation with him. Mr. Schue called everybody around and asked who wanted to go first. When nobody said anything Blaine shrugged and said he might as well go. Guess it's easier for him since they've heard him sing many times already.

Blaine sang a song he wrote himself, and Dave couldn't deny that he sounded beautiful. Next, a girl named Bailey sang a song called "Show me Love." Dave sneaked a peak at Santana and grinned when he saw her blushing fiercely. His smile was wiped clean when he realized that he was the only one left. He got up on stage, shuffling around for a second, before he decided that it was now or never.

He grabbed the microphone in his shaky hands, trying to ignore the way everyone was looking at him. Rachel had that stupid superior look on her face, like she expected Dave to flop the performance. Kurt smiled encouragingly, and, to his great surprise, so did Blaine. Santana thrust her hips forward a little, and Dave had to turn his head away so that he didn't snort into the microphone. Laughing made him feel better. He cleared his throat, nodding to the band kids who randomly showed up, and looked out into the small but intimidating audience.

"_I never made this world, I didn't even lose it, and I know no one said it was fair,_" Dave could hear the shaking in his voice. He knew he wasn't doing as good as he did in his little shower stadium. He could see the superior look on Rachel's face, only slightly marred by his start. That wasn't good enough. _I want this girl to be blown the fuck away. _

"_And now we're lost in the wilderness, lost, crying in the wilderness, and if anyone's watching it seems they couldn't care less, we're lost in the wilderness._" Dave closed his eyes, willing himself to let go.

_Dude, come on! Just for this one moment, stop worrying. Don't worry if they laugh at you later, don't worry about them possibly rejecting you for everything you've done in the past. Just let go. Just be free._

"_Til one bright and distant morning we may stop and look around and there in the wilderness, finally we'll be found!_" He pushed the last word out, forced it out of his mouth with a strength that he didn't know he had. It felt wonderful. For the first time, he could actually understand why these Glee kids could throw away their reputation for this. It was the first time in his high school life that he felt _right_.

As the music ended he smiled to himself. He wasn't expecting the wall of sound that crashed into him, the loud chorus of clapping and hollers. But he felt happy. He knew they'd probably have no problem letting him in, and he could hide behind the music and never have to worry about losing all of his friends.

As he climbed off the stage, hands clapping him on the shoulder, Rachel's smile almost blinding him with happiness, the door to the auditorium pushed open. A boy with bright blond hair, dressed in a black vest over a tight white T-shirt complete with black skinny jeans, walked into the big room hesitantly.

"Ohmygod, Jeff!" Kurt through himself at the boy, who embraced Kurt with a big smile on his face. His teeth were so white.

"Hi!"

"What are you doing here, Jeff?" Blaine said as he pulled the boy into a tight hug.

"Um...Had to move. Long story. I'll tell you later. Is it too late for me to audition?" He smiled around at everyone and Mr. Schue motioned for him to take the stage.

"Damn, four people in one year. New Directions is climbin' the social ladder, bitches!" Puck roared from his seat. Lauren punched him in the stomach to shut him up, and Jeff began his song. "Start a Fire," by Ryan Star. And that was the exact moment that Dave realized that keeping his sexuality a secret was going to be much harder than he initially thought. Because, _damn_, this boy was beautiful!

**Done, woot! Hope you enjoyed, because I typed this up in Science class. And it's an AP class. Do I love my readers, or do I love my readers? Let me know what you think, PLEASEEEEE! Tell me if I should continue or not. **

**On a random note, what would Jeff and Karofsky be known as? Jarofsky? Keff? Kavid? Deff? Deff! That would be epic! Help me out with this one, pleasums?  
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	2. Chapter 2

**So, THANK YOU so much to all the people who read the first chapter, and even BIGGER thanks to those who reviewed. Reviews help me so much; they motivate me, so thanks for that. Glad so many approve of Deff. (And yes, I settled on Deff because the votes overwhelmingly went that way)**

**About the categories, ffnet only allows two, but if it allowed a third this would be hurt/comfort. There are some sensitive moments, as you're about to read. **

**And finally, to the very few people who were Deff shippers before I even wrote this, just know that you are awesome. Now, enjoy!**

"Um, hi. Mind if I sit here?" Dave looked up, finding himself eye-level with Jeff. His eyes were such a bright blue that Dave had to stop himself from leaning closer to get a better look. He grunted, pulled his backpack off the seat, and looked away pointedly. He didn't much care for the boy now sitting next to him.

He couldn't keep his sexuality a secret if he decided to mingle with people like Jeff, people who were obviously flaming gay and not afraid to tell the whole school about it. The thing is, up until now Dave was pretty sure that he finally accepted himself. He didn't cringe when Kurt was around him, he didn't join in on any gay jokes, he told people to shut up when they used the unforgivable F word. He'd thought that he'd finally learned to live with his gayness. Being so close to Jeff made him think that he'd spoken too soon.

_But of course he'll start talking to me. They always talk to people who obviously don't want anything to do with them._

Dave angled his chair away from Jeff, but he was prepared for when the boy started trying to have "civilized conversation" with him.

"Hey, when is Glee rehearsal?" Dave knew he'd start talking. He only turned his face a fraction of the way toward Jeff when he answered.

"Thursday."

"Thanks." Jeff then pulled out a notebook, stuck his headphones in his ears, angled his chair away from Dave and began writing something in his little book, every once in a while muttering incoherent lyrics.

_That's it!_

In a way, Dave felt kind of cheated. He had geared himself up to deal with a prying, social person, and here Jeff was, scribbling away in his notebook with his entire body in the opposite direction of Dave. He felt like maybe Jeff was the one who didn't want to talk to Dave, not the other way around.

When the bell rang, Dave stood up quickly, trying to get out of study hall fast just in case Jeff decided to strike up a conversation. Just as he was gathering his books up, he saw Jeff jump up, pull all his stuff into his arms, and bolt out of the door like there was a fire in his pants. Dave stared at the chair that five seconds ago housed a beautiful blond boy, and once again he felt cheated. He also felt like Jeff was stealing his ideas.

"Hey dude, you comin' to Ashley's tonight?" Dave spun around and saw Azimio leaning over his desk. He grabbed his books and jammed them into his over-crowded backpack then swung it over his shoulder.

"Nah. I have to practice."

"Practice?" Azimio arched his eyebrow. "Practice kissing or something? Dude, you could do that at the party! Some hot babes tonight, man, and Joey says he's got someone for you."

"Someone?"

"Beautiful. Blond. Busty. You in?" Azimio's smile could only be described as feral when he talked about the mystery woman. Dave considered going to the party, but the words 'blond' and 'beautiful' invaded his mind.

"Sorry, I have to practice."

Dave left Azimio at his desk and headed straight out of the building. He kept his eyes down, but he couldn't help hearing Kurt and Blaine talking to someone in the parking lot. He peaked up through his eyelashes and quickly averted his eyes when he caught sight of Jeff leaning against Kurt's Hummer.

"-know how to handle myself, he can't get to me." Dave caught a tiny snippet of their conversation before he slid into his beat up car and drove off as fast as he could.

_Was he talking about me? Was I really that rude? Well, so was he!_

When he got home he saw his dad's car in the driveway. Sighing, he went into his house, kicked his shoes off into the closet, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and started upstairs.

"Hey, where's the fire at?"

"Hi, Dad." Dave turned around, knowing that he was obligated to spend a few minutes with his father after school. He sat on the couch across the room from his dad. The distance perfectly illustrated the distance that had grow between them since Dave started high school.

"How was your day?"

"It was okay."

"And your classes?"

"They were okay."

"Friends?"

"Okay."

"Hm."

The silence that followed made Dave want to scream. They used to be so close, and he knew it was _his _fault that they couldn't even have a regular conversation anymore. But really, what could he say?

_So today I got my music for Glee club, the most hated club in school that I decided to join. Then I ignored a new kid in class because he was so beautiful and I was afraid talking to him would actually mean facing my sexuality. Then Azimio offered me this hot babe at a party, and I turned him down. Which is like spitting in someone's face, to Azimio. Fucking drama queen. _

Yeah, he couldn't exactly explain his day to his father. Why was it that sexuality was only one part of a person, yet hiding that one tiny part seemed to equate hiding all of yourself? Dave had football try-outs today. He went to class and learned how to write haiku in English. He had a relatively healthy lunch and was on a new diet because he wasn't at all happy with the way he looked. Why couldn't he just tell his father these things?

_Oh, that's right, because in football try-outs I checked out a guys ass, in English I wrote about boys, and I'm only dieting because Kurt called me chubby. A year ago._

Did everything have to revolve around his sexuality!

Guess when you're a teenage boy in the midst of hormones and confusion, it kind of does.

"Anything else you want to tell me?" He could see the pleading behind his father's brown eyes, begging him to break the silence between them and be like they used to be, back when his father was Dave's best friend.

_Tell him. Just do it! Tell him!_

"I - um...No, nothing else." His dad nodded his head slowly, then smiled weakly and told him to get some homework done before dinner.

After Dave closed and locked his door, he turned his radio on to a hard rock station, turned the volume all the way up, and fell onto the floor sobbing._  
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**Feel free to tell me what you thought. Any comments you have about my writing are always welcome. I always go on a grammar and spelling check hunt before posting things, but sometimes I miss something, so don't hesitate to let me know if a mistake slipped through my fingers. Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! More soon!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks so much to everyone whose been reading, and to all the COURAGE(For Kurt-Glee) folks from FB, appreciate the support you've given me! And since people seem to be a Deff fan, I shall continue merrily. And now I'll stop talking like someone who's obsessed with the Victorian era. Which I am, admittedly. Off topic-ness aside, here's the fic! ENJOY!**

"Hi, Jeff." Dave slid into his seat next to the blond boy last period on Thursday morning. Jeff turned his body half-way and offered a tiny smile.

"Hello, David." While Dave had his books spread out everywhere, trying to catch up on missed school work, Jeff was writing quickly in his little notebook again.

"So, uh, are you excited for Glee club?" Why was he trying to have a conversation with this boy? Wasn't he the one who wanted nothing to do with Jeff yesterday? It appeared that Jeff was thinking the same thing, as his eyebrows were arched in confusion. The small gesture made his eyelashes flick up higher, momentarily catching Dave's attention.

"Yeah, I guess." He started to turn away, to Dave's disappointment, but then stopped mid-turn. He closed his eyes, shook his head slightly, and then looked at Dave again. "I'm a little nervous though."

"What's there to be nervous about?"_ Yeah, like I don't know the answer to _that _question already._

"I'm the new kid. Everyone already knows each other."

"But you know Kurt and Blaine," Dave offered. He was trying to be helpful, but he understood where Jeff was coming from. After all, he was the new kid, too. To Glee club, at least.

"Yeah, well, Kurt and Blaine know each other, too. They'll be spending all their time together." Once again, Dave found himself being thankful for finally getting over Kurt, otherwise this bit of news would have pissed him off significantly.

"Well...Spend time with me then." _What? What did I just say! _

Jeff smiled slightly and started collecting his books, turning away from Dave, who was mentally cursing himself for opening his big mouth. _Who the hell says that? After I ignore him completely, now I sound like I'm hitting on him!_

"I'll see you in Glee club." Jeff pulled his book bag strap over his shoulder, waved, and left the room slowly.

"But- ugh!" Dave headdesk-ed and shook his head, willing himself to just die already. Jeff never answered him. That was bad, that was _very _bad! He probably thought Dave was some creeper trying to steal away his virginity or something. Sighing, he collected his books and went to drop off everything at his locker. Afterward he walked slowly to the choir room. His nerves were constantly reminding him that he was sacrificing everything. For what?

Would they even want him here? Sure, he sang great, but would that matter when they remember all the things he did to them in the past? If Dave had been the one being bullied, he probably wouldn't forgive the one who bullied him. Why would anyone in that room forgive him? He sucked in a deep breath before turning the corner and walking into the choir room with a determined glint in his eyes.

"Hey Dave!" Kurt sent a brilliant smile his way and waved enthusiastically at him. A year ago that smile would have been his ruin, but Dave smiled shyly back at him and sat away from the others. Rachel didn't exactly smile at him, but her nod told him that she accepted his being here. Finn came by and slapped Dave on the back the way the football team did to each other in the hallways.

_Maybe it won't be that bad. _

"Okay guys, welcome to the new school year!" Mr. Schue bustled in happily. "Give a warm welcome to all our new members, Dave, Jeff, Blaine and Bailey!" Everyone waved, some hugged and Kurt leaned over his seat to plant a kiss on Blaine's forehead. _Thank God he's happy. _

"Now, guys, I wanted to start this year off with another duet competition!" The reaction was instantaneous. Everyone broke into applause and Santana eyed Quinn and Sam, giving them an evil glare that Dave didn't quite understand. "I know there's an odd number of people in the room, so I'm allowing one group to be a group of three. Choose your groups, pick a song, and the winner - drum roll Finn - gets two tickets to the Ohio State Fair!"

All the girls in the room gasped and started talking a mile a minute about how sweet and romantic that was. Puck was telling Finn that he was going to drink a bottle of vodka before going on the Ferris wheel. Meanwhile, Dave was panicking. Who was he going to sing a duet with?

"Find your partners, guys, then plan out what you think you'd like to do." Dave watched in mild horror as everyone paired up.

Brittany and Santana. Mike, Tina and Artie. Finn and Rachel. Lauren and Puck. Mercedes and Sam. Kurt and Blaine. Quinn and Bailey.

_Shit._

"So, I guess we'll be spending time together after all?" Jeff was sitting two seats away from Dave, watching the mass pairing with a look of surrender in his blue eyes.

"Yeah, I guess." This was it. They were going to be duet partners. Dave was going to have to spend lots of time around this infuriatingly beautiful boy who may or may not hate him. Dave just had all the luck, didn't he?

"So, I propose we meet up at my house tomorrow after school to pick out our song and start practicing," Jeff said as he flicked a strand of blond hair out of his eyes.

"What, your house? After school? Why?"

"Why _not?_" Jeff looked a bit frustrated by Dave's question, and with good reason. Dave was freaking out.

"I just...I don't know if it's _that _big of a deal, you know." Dave shrugged, watching all the pairs already singing together and having fun.

"You know what?" Dave twisted his head around to stare at Jeff, who's tone had gone sour. "You're right, it _isn't _that important. So I guess we'll just have to practice tomorrow during lunch. Or, maybe, we can practice in the locker room while you're getting changed after football practice. Or maybe during study hall. We can give our whole class a preview of our duet."

_What? No! Hell no! people can't- no!_

"Okay, okay, I get what you're saying. We'll practice after school. But, um...My house, okay?" At least at his house he didn't feel like he was intruding. He would definitely feel that way at Jeff's house.

"Fine, I'll be over after school." He reached into his bag and Dave heard a ripping sound. He came back with a scrap of paper and a pen. "Write the address." His tone was so assertive and demanding. Dave kind of liked it. He had discovered months ago that he kind of liked guys who could stick up for themselves. Sassy guys. Jeff was definitely a sassy kind of guy. Dave wrote his address as legibly as possible and handed it back to Jeff.

As Jeff reached to grabbed the paper, their fingers brushed against each other. Dave was momentarily stunned by the shock that was sent through his fingers. He whipped his hand away fast and tried to act like nothing happened.

"So I'll, uh...I'll see you later." When the bell rang Jeff nodded and was the first one to get up and leave the room. Dave was trying to act busy, to not notice the boy anymore than he already had, but he wasn't busy enough to miss the look Jeff gave him as he exited the choir room.

Jeff looked back at Dave for a second, his heart racing. When he caught Dave looking, he turned away quickly and tried to hide the faint blush that had spread over his cheeks.

O.o.O

Dave was freaking out. Again. It was Friday after school and Dave had just gotten around to cleaning his room. By cleaning, he meant shoving dirty clothes in the closet, football equipment under his bed, and any loose items that didn't look nice where they sat upon the desks into a drawer. He wiped down his desk and night stand quickly to remove the thick layer of dust and tried to make his bed quickly.

"Why are you so worried about this kid seeing your messy room? You never mind Azimio being in here when the tornado has passed." Dave's father was leaning against his door frame casually.

"Go away, Dad!" Dave yelled in his panic. He spun around quickly afterward. "Wait, dad, I didn't mean-" He was cut off by the sound of his father's hardy laugh echoing down the stairs. He sighed with relief before turning his attention to his bed again. He had just finished tucking the last corner in when his dad called up to him.

"Office just called, they need me to come in for a meeting. You kids have fun." As the door slammed, Dave did a happy dance around his room. Two down, one to go. The last thing he needed was food. You can't have someone over at your house without offering food, right?

Maybe he was getting a little ahead of himself. They were just practicing a duet, after all!

_Yeah, like that doesn't sound totally gay._

When the doorbell rang Dave rushed to open the door for Jeff. The boy was standing there in the same clothes he had worn to school, to Dave's dismay. Black leggings, Royal blue Marc Jacobs jacket if he wasn't mistaken, and matching blue boots. Why did Dave always go for the fashionably conscious guys? His hair was out of it's usual bowl shape and spiked up slightly in the front, and whatever he had done to his lips made them look shiny and stand out.

"Hey."

"Hi."

Awkward. Dave knew this was going to be awkward. Hell, they both knew it. Wordlessly, he jerked his head in one direction, indicating that Jeff should follow him, and they went to his room. He heard Jeff sniff the air and saw the smile that played on his lips after. So the pine-scented air freshener was a good idea, after all.

"So, I have a list of songs that we might consider. Feel free to contribute." He flopped gracefully onto Dave's bed and handed him his Ipod. Dave plugged it into his stereo and together they listened to the random songs that Jeff had compiled for this duet. All of them seemed to be very fun, upbeat, and relatively meaningless.

"Maybe we should sing something more, I don't know, emotional?" Dave asked tentatively.

"Well, we could go Broadway-"

"That is so gay." Jeff spun around on the bed and glared at him

"Well, _I'm _gay, so if you've got something to say about it, now's your chance!" Dave was surprised by how fast Jeff got mad at him. He wanted to make him smile again, so he said the first thing that came to his mind.

"No, I have nothing against it at all. I'm gay!" _Oh crap. Oh crap oh crap this is not happening, I did not just say that out loud!_

Jeff eyes him warily before his features settled into a small smile. "Wow. Here I was, thinking you were treating me badly because you were a homophobe." Dave twitched in his seat. This boy knew _way _too much about him already.

"Maybe...Maybe we shouldn't do a duet together." Jeff threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.

"God, what is the matter with you? One minute you're trying to have a conversation with me, and the next you're pushing me away. Who pissed in your soda?" Dave would have laughed, if Jeff wasn't glaring at him.

"Why did you even come here, anyway?" He asked bitterly. Jeff jumped up from the bed and stormed off in the direction of the door. He knew exactly what Dave meant. At the door he faced Dave one last time.

"I came here," he said through gritted teeth, "because my father cheated on my mother and now they're getting a divorce. My mom moved back to Lima because she grew up here. When they asked me who I wanted to live with, I chose her, because there was no way in _hell_ I was living with the man who tore our family apart for his own selfish desires. I don't give a damn about this place! I'm here for one person, and one person only, and it isn't you!"

With that, he stormed out of the house. Dave heard him pull out of the driveway fast and speed off. He fell face-first on his bed and screamed into his pillow. Life pretty much sucked right now.

**Woot, end of chapter 3! That was actually supposed to be broken up into two chapters, but I didn't want you guys to have to wait any longer. Hope you liked it. I'm meh about this chapter, I feel like there is too much dialogue. But Please let me know what you think! Again, thanks for reading!**

**~Alex**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone, I know it's been a while since the last chapter was updated, but since school is finally over I'll be posting more often. If anyone is interested in Star Trek 2009, I have about 11 stories up for that if you'd like to read. And now, chapter 4!**

**CAUTION: This chapter contains the F-bomb, I know it really gets on some people's nerves, but I felt it was appropriate for the character and scenario. My bad!  
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"Kurt, can I talk to you for a sec?" Dave shuffled on his feet, not at all comfortable in Breadstix the way the rest of New Directions seemed to be.

"Sure." Kurt got up and wondered over to an empty table with Dave. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Dave found the strength to voice his question.

"What the hell is up with Jeff?" Upon seeing Kurt's raised eyebrow, he decided to elaborate. "I mean, one minute he seems to like me, the next he's yelling at me. One second he's trying to get to know me and the next, he wants absolutely nothing to do with me! I swear, I can't keep up with this kid!"

"Sound familiar?" Kurt said, skepticism leaking into his voice. Dave pondered this question for a minute. Who acted like Jeff?

"Oh my Gaga, _you_! He's acting like _you_!" Kurt said, throwing his hands up in the air.

"But..why?"

"Because that's how you treat him. Listen, Jeff is one of the nicest guys I've ever met, but he doesn't take crap from anyone. If you really want to 'keep up' with him, you need to start pulling down some of the walls that you've built up against him."

"But I've haven't-"

"Look, Dave," Kurt said as he stood up, dropping his voice. "I get it. I know why you're so awkward around him. But you're just sabotaging yourself if you decide to keep it up. The choice is yours."

Kurt walked back to his table and settled in between Blaine and Mercedes, who were having an animated discussion about who the biggest Diva in Glee club was. Dave let his head fall into his hands. The whole point of being in Glee club was to find people who accepted him for who he truly was, right? Then...Why does he want nobody to know him?

Dave's head snapped up at the sound of a new voice joining the group. Of course, _he_ just had to show up. Dave sucked in a breath when he saw Jeff's hair dripping wet. The boy grabbed at his coat and ran it through his hair in order to dry it. Guess it was raining pretty hard.

_Do something, stupid, don't just sit here!_

Dave got up and walked over to the table, standing directly in front of Jeff.

"Can I sit here?" He asked, speaking only to Jeff. The boy looked his way briefly and then nodded slowly, pulling his jacket off the seat to allow room for Dave to sit.

"Thanks."

Dave couldn't decide what was better, being openly hated by the group or being given the silent treatment. They had plenty to say to each other but nothing to say to Dave, apparently. Or maybe he was just being paranoid.

"Oh crap, I totally forgot I'm supposed to baby-sit in thirty minutes. I have to go!" Dave slid out of the booth to let Jeff out. The blond turned to the door and grimaced. The phrase "raining cats and dogs" seemed incredibly appropriate right about now.

"I'm on my way out as well. Do you want me to walk you to your car?" Dave asked, pulling the tiny umbrella out of his pocket. He could feel the many pairs of eyes on his back, as well as see Kurt's smirk out of the corner of his eye. Stupid, gay intuition. Why didn't Dave have gay intuition?

Jeff stared at him for a long, tense moment before he nodded and started walking toward the door. Dave went out first, pulled out his umbrella, and immediately felt the heat of Jeff's body so close to him as he joined him under the umbrella. They walked silently across the parking lot as rain poured around them and - though Dave didn't say anything - dripped down Dave's left side. There was plenty of room for both of them, but Dave wanted to make sure Jeff didn't get wet. They came to a halt in front of Jeff's red car and he turned to face Dave.

"Want to come in?" He asked, sounding uncertain. Dave couldn't blame him.

_He's asking me to join him? In his car? Alone? _

"Um...Why not?" Jeff smiled and opened the passenger door for Dave. After Dave slipped in and shut the door Jeff joined him on the other side. From inside the car they couldn't see anything except rain cascading down the windows. It was as if they had been devoured by their own little world.

"I'm sorry." Jeff broke the silence. Dave cocked his head to the side in confusion. "For yelling at you."

_So, I push him away, offend him, and he's apologizing to me? Something ain't right here, David._

"Don't apologize. Please. I deserved it."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, both looking out a separate window, but somehow, it wasn't awkward. Dave felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders in a way, and Jeff had a small smile on his beautiful face.

"Don't you have to baby-sit?" Dave suddenly remembered.

"I lied. I just...I don't like to be around too many people. It makes me feel so small." Dave nodded; he understood that feeling perfectly. It was the exact reason he didn't like being in Breadstix.

"Why'd you do it?" Jeff whispered. Dave jerked his head toward the boy and saw a contemplative, soul-searching look in the blond's eyes.

"Do what?"

"Bully Kurt. He told me, but when I asked him why he said 'ask David'."

_Should I tell him? No, he doesn't need to know. Nobody needs to know how weak I am. But...oh, fuck it!_

"I did it because I was jealous. I wanted to be able to be myself, but I couldn't, and it pissed me off that he could. At the same time, he was a constant reminder of what I hated most about myself, so that fueled my hatred. And then..."

"Then?"

Dave sighed and shook his head. He hated admitting it, especially to someone like Jeff. What would he think of Dave after this?

"I kind of...fell in love with him. And so I hated him more for making me want him so bad."

Dave was ashamed to feel a warm tear roll down his cheek. He tried to furiously wipe it away before Jeff could see, but the boy missed nothing.

"Don't cry," he whispered. He reached his hand out but Dave pulled back.

"You don't get it, do you? I hurt him so bad, so bad! I'll never be able to take it back...never." He dropped his head in his hands and cried, cried right in front of Jeff as if the boy wasn't even there. Jeff leaned across his seat and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

_Why would he still want me here? Why is he doing this?_

"It's not too late," Jeff said softly in his ear. The sudden close proximity brought Dave up short and surprised him enough to pull him out of his current state.

"Not too late?"

"Not too late to make things right. It's never too late to change your life, David." Jeff put a hand lightly on Dave's face and pulled him close. Dave closed his eyes and almost died when he felt Jeff's soft lips press against his forehead.

It wasn't a real kiss, but it was enough.

**CONFESSION TIME! I hate when I write chapters with lots of dialogue. You can logically conclude that I hate this chapter. but my readers usually don't mind, so I'm hoping you guys liked it. Please let m know! I already have an idea for the next chapter and I'll start typing it up tomorrow, so you should have it in a few days.**

**DO ME A FAVOR, PLEASE! If I don't have it up by Sunday, please send me a message and bitch at me (literally) to hurry the hell up. Trust me, it will motivate me :)  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey people! This is kind of soon for me to be updating, but I don't want to make you guys wait for it so I'm updating early. Enjoy!**

If there was one thing Dave hated most about life, it was the feeling of Deja vu. Clowns, too. But mostly Deja Vu. Whenever he got the feeling, it was always reminding him of another time where things went right through the roof, times he'd much rather not remember. Times like this.

Dave was in the middle of shoving dirty clothes under his bed when the door bell rang. He quickly tried to push the closet closed, but there was too much in it. He yelled a quick "be right there" down the stairs and proceeded trying to close the closet. After what seemed like an eternity of tackles, it finally slammed shut.

"Nice," a voice behind him said. Dave whipped around and saw Jeff standing in the doorway, amusement painted on his face.

"Y-you weren't supposed to see that," Dave muttered. Jeff flitted into the room and plopped down on the bed. He reached in his pocket and pulled out his Ipod, holding it out for Dave.

"I don't mind," he said as Dave connected the Ipod to his stereo. Jeff mentioned that he found some good duet choices, so today was the day that they decided. Most groups had already chosen two days ago, so they were a bit behind.

"What have you got for us today?" Dave asked.

""The start of something new" from High School Musical." Dave turned to face Jeff in horror.

"You can't be serious!" Jeff's lip twitched and Dave rolled his eyes, realizing that the boy wasn't serious at all. Jeff chuckled, earning a pillow thrown at his face by Dave.

"Let's get out of here," Jeff said suddenly.

"But we have to pick a song still."

"Yeah, and I have a stereo in my car. Come on!" Jeff pulled Dave off the bed and he followed the boy down the stairs and out into his car. He wasn't really sure where Jeff was taking him, but he didn't much care.

Turns out, Jeff's selections were actually really good. Dave was happy to see that none of them had anything to do with love, because he just couldn't handle that at the moment. They had narrowed their choices down to two songs when Jeff pulled into a parking lot and got out. Dave followed with uncertainty. They were in some park that Dave had never even seen before.

"Jeff, where are we?"

"Westerville Park. My mom used to bring me here as a kid."

Jeff led him to the top of a small hill and they sat down, dangerously close for Dave's self-control. He wanted to reach out, to grab Jeff's soft hand in his and just hold on to it. He still felt the way Jeff's hand had rubbed comfortingly against his cheek, the way he smelled when he got close to Dave, the way his fingers lingered on his cheek a second too long when he kissed Dave's forehead. The thoughts made him feel weak in a way he had never experienced.

He forced himself to admit that he didn't just want to hold Jeff's hand. He wanted to hold Jeff's face between his hands gently, the way Jeff had done yesterday, and pull him close, and place a gentle kiss on his forehead. Or his lips. Dave admitted to himself that he wouldn't mind at all if he could kiss Jeff, but he knew he wasn't ready.

Kissing Jeff meant accepting everything he never wanted to accept about himself. It meant giving himself to another and not hiding it from anyone. Because he knew that if they were together he _couldn't _hide it. Maybe he really did have gay intuition.

_Just kiss him. You know you want to! Lift his chin and kiss him, like you see on all those sappy romance movies...that you don't watch, of course! Just do it!_

"We should probably get going now," Jeff said as he stood up.

_Damn._

"Yeah. Totally." They walked back to the car in silence and listened to their two selections on the way back, trying to decide which one they would choose.

Dave was happy to see that his father was still at work, because his car wasn't anywhere in the drive way. He turned to thank Jeff and say bye only to see Jeff's door slam shut as he walked onto the porch. Dave scurried out and joined him in front of the door.

"It was nice spending the day with you, Dave." Jeff smiled.

"Yeah, you too." Jeff took a step forward and placed a hand on Dave's cheek, only it wasn't in a comforting way as it had been yesterday. This was-

_Oh my god, he isn't! He can't! I haven't deciding anything yet! But God, I want this, and- no! I can't do this to him._

"Jeff, I can't," Dave muttered, his voice filled with sorrow. He put his hand on Jeff's to try to push it off, but somehow his fingers fell between Jeff's and they were practically holding hands. Dave couldn't bring himself to let go. Jeff stepped closer and there was barely a centimeter left keeping them apart. He looked into Dave's eyes and he shuddered.

"Trust me Dave," he whispered. "You need this."

With that, he closed the distance between them and Dave just about died. Jeff's lips were on his, and they were even more soft than he remembered. The boy reached his free hand up and rested it gently on Dave's chest. At first, Dave was too shocked to respond to the kiss, but his desire got the best of him and he held Jeff's face between his hands, kissing him with more passion than he had ever kissed anyone.

For Dave, time had stopped. And he never wanted it to start. Why go back to a world that would hate him for who he was when this world was so perfect? He was too happy; he didn't want reality to come crashing down, to ruin this moment.

But reality always came crashing back down. One minute Dave was pouring his soul into the most beautiful kiss, and the next his front door swung open.

"David?"

**CLIFFHANGERRRR! let me know what you thought, and I apologize for it being so short! I'm thinking that if I keep these shorter I'll be more willing to update faster. Reviews, please, and thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the long wait (and the cliffhanger I left for the wait). Lots of college stuff to take care of, so I haven't been updating my stories that much. Anyway, here's the next chapter! Enjoy!**

"David?"

The two boys sprung apart like they had been shocked, and Dave spun around to face the front door.

_Ho-ly shiiiit._

His father was standing there in the door staring at him expectantly. A million thoughts were reeling through Dave's head, and he almost completely forgot about the kiss that had single-handedly made him appreciate being attracted to guys.

"Dad, I..."

"Who's your friend?" His father stepped outside slightly and stuck his hand out in front of Jeff. "Mr. Karofsky, David's father." Jeff smiled and grabbed a hold of his hand, giving it a firm shake.

"Jeff Sterling, sir. Pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise. You kids should come in, it's raining pretty hard out there." He held the front door open and Dave stared at Jeff, wide-eyed.

_What the _hell _is going on!_

As if Jeff could read his thoughts, he shrugged and followed Dave's father into the house. Dave took a deep breath and joined them, closing the front door behind him. The two boys walked slowly to the living room, where Dave's father announced that he had ordered pizza and offered it over to them. Dave took a piece and nibbled at the cheese dangling from the end. He wasn't hungry, but he felt obligated to eat something. He sat nibbling on almost nothing, feeling like he had entered the twilight zone.

_Maybe he didn't see anything. Maybe we pulled away so fast that all he saw was so scared, shocked faces. Dammit, why was he home?_

"Dad...Why are you home so early? And where's your car?" The missing car was what made Dave think his father was gone in the first place. Stupid car.

"In the garage. I finally got it cleaned out, so I thought as a sort of homecoming gift to the garage, I'd actually use it. Cleaned the car, too." Dave nodded but didn't say anything. What was there to say? He still had so many questions, and he had no idea what his father knew. Although, he probably _didn't _know about that kiss, since he was being so calm and civil.

"So Jeff, you go to school with David?" Dave tried to find something in his words that would give away what he knew, but he was still too calm and controlled. It was so frustrating!

"Yes, I just transferred to McKinley. Dave and I have study hall together."

"Have you two been helping each other study? I know he mentioned that you were coming over the other day/"

Jeff gave Dave a sideways glance, but thought carefully about his next words upon seeing Dave's worried expression.

"Yeah. English, you know." His dad nodded as if he really did know. Jeff peeked at his watch and his eyes grew wide. "Oh boy, I should have been home thirty minutes ago. I'm so sorry Mr. Karofsky, but I really should be going. My mo worries a lot."

"Not a problem. It was a pleasure meeting you." His father got up and shook Jeff's hand, a smile on his face.

"I'll walk him to the door!" Dave jumped up, setting his uneaten slice of pizza in the box, and walked Jeff to the door. When they were outside, the door safely shut behind them, Dave looked at Jeff with terror showing clearly in his eyes. Jeff stepped forward and placed one sweet kiss upon his lips, and Dave felt like he was melting.

"It's going to be okay. Call me if you need to talk." Then he wandered to his car in the rain and left. Dave dreaded going back inside, but he couldn't stay out there all night. He had to face the music eventually. He made his way slowly back into the house and took up his slice once more, if for no other reason than to have something in his hands. It kept a very small portion of his mind busy, at the very least, which was enough for him.

"So...Jeff."

His dad sat down next to him on the coach and clicked the TV off. Dave continued to stare as the color drained from the screen and left fuzzy blackness behind.

"Yup."

"You coulda just told me, you know." At this, Dave found himself looking directly into his father's eyes. _What did he mean by that? Stupid English language having a thousand meanings for one sentence!_

"What?"

"I said, you coulda just told me. The way you've been acting the past two years, I was beginning to think you were on drugs."

**So, this is very short, I KNOW! I needed to post something, because this wait is getting ridiculous. I'll have the continuation up asap (before Wednesday). Wednesday is both my 19th birthday and my Freshman move-in day for college, so to say I'll be very busy after that is a vast understatement. Le sorry for the wait, more coming soon!**

_**AND THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO HAVEN'T GIVEN UP ON THIS! :D**_


	7. Chapter 7

**_PLEASE READ!_**

I'd like to throw out a massive thank you to two awesome readers who have literally read and reviews EVERY FIC I'VE WRITTEN. You two are so awesome, and I always look forward to your reviews, and no matter how long I go without posting, you always stick with it. Thank you:

**Doni**

**IMimelda**

So, I'm taking requests from YOU TWO ONLY. Must be a one-shot, and a fandom that I write in (HP, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, Glee, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time), but other than that, tell me what you want and I'll write it :) It may take a few weeks to have them up (college time!) but I WILL write them. My gift to you :) Thanks so much for your on-going support!

* * *

><p>Dave wondered through the halls mindlessly, knowing what he had to do but not entirely ready for it. He had felt it coming on for a long time, knew the second Jeff walked into his life that things were going to change, but he wasn't sure if he was ready for it, yet. Jeff wasn't pushing him; he was pushing himself.<p>

"Hey man, where you been at?" Azimio was on Dave's heel already, despite Dave avoiding him all day.

"Been busy. Sorry."

"Yo, dude, I heard some nasty rumors about you. I heard you been mingling with those losers in Glee club. I _also _heard you joined Glee club. Tell me this ain't true!"

Dave pulled his books from his locker fast and spun on his heel, ready to tell Azimio off. That was when he noticed Jeff, only feet away, coming toward him with sheet music. A lump formed in his throat; if Azimio saw what he had, he'd know the rumors were true. Dave wasn't ready for that.

"Hey Dave, just wanted to drop this off." Jeff held the sheet music out. His smile cut Dave so deep; what was he about to _do_? His mind was screaming at him, begging him not to do it, but he couldn't help what came out next.

"What the hell makes you think I want _that_?" he spat out. Azimio stood by his side laughing, whole Dave watched in agony as Jeff's bright smile faded, replaced first with hurt and than with anger. He pulled his hand back, stuck the sheet music in his bag, and smacked Dave across the face.

Dave staggered back into his locker, more surprised by the action than the pain it caused - though, there was certainly a good amount of pain searing his cheek. Hand on cheek, he looked to where Jeff had been standing, but the spot was empty. Kids were lining the halls, staring at him with wide eyes. And Dave just barely caught a sliver of Jeff's blond hair before he disappeared around a corner.

"Dude, why'd you just let him hit you? What's the matter with you lately?" But Dave wasn't listening. He pulled his bag over his shoulder and began running down the hallway to find Jeff. He'd be in the choir room, of course. Jeff was sitting at the piano, plucking out lone notes every few seconds.

"Jeff?" Dave said hesitantly. The soft plucking stopped and Jeff's back visibly stiffened. He turned slowly, and Dave's breath caught in his throat. Jeff's face was a deep red, coated in tears, and he was fighting to stop the soft quivering of his lips.

"What do you want?" His voice was very gentle but broken. Dave felt his eyes sting; how could he make this better?

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I just-"

"I know. You just were too ashamed to tell that "friend" of yours that you're singing a duet with another guy in glee club. I get it. It's fine." He turned back to the piano and began playing minor chords.

"I never meant to say-"

"It's _fine_, David." Bitterness broke through his soft voice and he gathered his stuff before pushing passed Dave. "See you in glee club, _partner_."

Dave really did hate Deja vu. Because, once again he was staring at the spot that once occupied a beautiful boy, feeling like he had ruined everything.

Glee club came and went, as Jeff droned on about the song he had picked for them. They were supposed to pick the song together, but they couldn't decide and finally Jeff chose for them. "Because of You," by Kelly Clarkson. That hadn't even been an option a few days ago. They went out in the empty hall to practice, and Jeff didn't look him in the eyes the entire time.

Dave's mind kept wondering to the kiss they shared, the kiss that made him realize how stupid he'd been to fear being gay. Why couldn't he remember that kiss when Jeff was standing in front of him, smiling as he tried to hand him their sheet music? What song had he chosen at that point?

When glee club was over, Jeff left without looking at Dave. Kurt and Blaine were watching him but he didn't look at them; they loved Jeff. They probably hated Dave all over again.

"Want my advice?" Bailey was standing over Dave with a kind smile. Bailey was the quietest member of Glee club. She hardly spoke two words the entire time she'd been there, and though she had a beautiful voice Quinn said it took a while for her to break that wall of shyness. It seemed strange that she was approaching him now.

"Why not?" She sat in the chair next to him and leaned into his side, her lips against his ear. The distance made him uncomfortable, but she seemed to find nothing wrong with it.

"Sing to him," she whispered. Dave's eyebrows shot up. She couldn't _know_, could she? "Sing him a song from the heart. Stop worrying about what other people will see in you. Make sure he sees in you what you haven't been able to say in words. Put everything you've got in it, like you did during your audition. And, lastly, _stop hiding_."

Bailey got up and caught up with Quinn, who was just leaving the choir room. The girls linked arms and left.

Dave thought that Bailey was probably the smartest girl he'd ever met, and the most understanding. Dave had the perfect song, too. The problem was getting Jeff to give him the chance to sing it.

"You okay, David?" Mr. Schue was gathering their music off the piano, but paused to watch Dave, concern in his eyes. A light bulb went off in Dave's head; he definitely wouldn't be able to hide after this, but he didn't care anymore.

"Mr. Schue, can I sing something next class?"

**I just realized something. With most of my stories I have an idea of when and how they'll end. For this, I have absolutely NO idea. All I have is a feeling of whether it's right to end it now or not. And it's definitely not the right time to end this, so I'm thinking at least five more chapter. Maybe more. I don't know. PLEASE REVIEW!**


	8. Chapter 8

**This took me far too long! BAD ALEX! BAD! Now that that's over, here it is!**

Another day of deja vu, and Dave hated it more than ever. He was on his way once more to Glee club, his heart beating louder in his chest with each step forward. He passed students in the halls whose faces he probably knew, but they blurred together as one with his anxiety.

He thought singing in front of Glee club the first time was hard. This was so much worse, though. Worse because they weren't expecting him to stand before them and sing. Worse because he would be all alone. Worse because he was about to show all of them things he never wanted anyone to know. But it was the only way.

"David, there you are! Our instrumentalists have their parts all worked out. The only thing we need to work out is when you'll be singing. Do you want to do this at the beginning of club, or right at the end? Choice is all yours." Schue was rambling a mile a minute, making Dave's head spin.

"Beginning," he coughed out. He was afraid that if he waiting til the end he would chicken out.

"Alright, take a seat and we'll have you up here in no time." Dave stumbled to his usual seat and waiting for the others to enter the room.

The first thing that pulled him out of his trance was the sight of Jeff walking into the room and plopping himself down in the chair right nexts to Dave. He didn't turn, didn't mutter a hello or even nod Dave's way, and he couldn't blame the boy. He deserved this treatment.

But he was going to make things right.

"Alright guys, we have a special performance today! Please welcome Dave to the floor!" Everyone clapped loudly and Dave heard Rachel remarking on how talented he was. He barely noticed anything besides the look of shock and confusion on Jeff's face.

"Um, hi guys. There's...uh...there's just something I wanted to tell you guys, and I didn't really know how else to say it. So, here goes." He jerked his head to the side, having remembered something at the last minute. "Also, I had to transpose it down a few keys cuz, you know, I'm a bass. And also, this is dedicated to Jeff."

Jeff's eyes widen and for a few seconds the two boys locked eyes. Dave tried to convey in those few seconds how he felt about Jeff, how sorry he was for every confusing and hurtful moment that had passed between them. Then he heard the guitar pluck out his first few notes and he closed his eyes, telling himself it was for the best. They needed to know. _He _needed to know.

_"Hey, slow it down. Whataya want from me? Whataya want from me?" _He had never been so scared of any words in his entire life as much as he was scared of these, mostly because they were just too true. He felt so vulnerable as everyone watched him, now matching Jeff's confused expression. Well, everyone except Blaine, Kurt and Bailey. Jeff's face was perfectly blank.

_"Yeah, it's plain to see that baby you're beautiful, and there's nothing wrong with you. It's me, I'm a freak. But thanks for loving me cuz you're doing it perfectly. There might have been a time when I would let you slip away, I wouldn't even try but I think you could save my life!"_

Jeff remained calm on the outside despite these words being sung to him, _for _him, despite the fact that everyone was now staring from Dave, to Jeff, and back to Dave. On the inside, something else entirely was stirring. He couldn't believe that the man standing before him pouring his heart out was the same man who had insulted him yesterday to spare his reputation.

_"Just don't give up, I'm working it out. Please don't give in, I won't let you down. It'd mess me up, need a second to breathe, just keep comin around. Hey, whataya want from me?"_

Dave forced his deep bass voice to sing higher than he usually did, and even then it wasn't as high as Adam Lambert's. But the deeper, fuller tone, the soft growls that came out when Dave felt especially passionate, were something jeff had never witnessed before. They hit him harder than he expected, lifted him up, and for four minutes it was just them. He and Dave were alone, on his porch once more while the rain cascaded around them, and Jeff was grabbing Dave's face between his hands and leaning forward and Dave wasn't stopping him. For four minutes the rest of the world didn't mean a thing.

His last note faded into the silence of the room. Jeff expected to hear clapping but everyone sat perfectly still, watching as if the show wasn't over. He peered over his shoulder and was shocked to see the amount of jaw-dropping, lip-quivering, tear-shedding faces behind him. That's why nobody was clapping; for the first time, most of them saw the _real _Dave Karofsky. Not that pathetic act he put on, but the kind, loving, passionate person that was hiding inside all along.

And they were right on another count; the show _wasn't _over.

Dave watched with wary eyes as Jeff got out of his chair, face still perfectly devoid of emotion, and approached him. He sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes, not sure what he would see when he opened them again.

His eyes shot open in surprise as he felt familiar soft lips crush against his own. His first instinct was to wonder what everyone else thought, but he pushed that away fast. Instead, he settled for wrapping his arms around Jeff and leaning down slightly to give the boy better access. The gasps that filled the air were soon followed by loud clapping, and Dave pulled away from Jeff so he could look him in the eyes.

Jeff's beautiful blue eyes were brimming over with tears and his smile was radiant. Dave never knew he could feel stronger about the boy than he did before, but in that moment he was proved wrong.

"I'm so proud of you," he whispered. Their foreheads were pressed together and Dave smiled. "It's all over, I guess?"

"No," Dave said with determination. "I still have to tell Azimio. And _we_ have a duet to do."

Dave winked at Jeff and he giggled as they walked, fingers laced together, back to their seats.

**Woot, reviews, ladies and gents, and you shall have the next chapter out very soon! **


	9. Chapter 9

**WARNING! This chapter contains lots of swearing. Just thought I'd let you know. Enjoy!**

"Dave, your friend is here!"

Dave sat perched on the edge of his bed, listening to the footsteps coming toward his door. In his current state they sounded ominous. He had been feeling jumpy all day, trying to figure out how best to do what he was about to do. But there was no rule book, no guidelines, no script for when you were about to tell your best friend that you were gay.

"Hey man, what up?" Azimio flopped onto Dave's bed and pulled his football pillow into his lap like he used to do when they had sleep overs in middle school. Things were so much easier back then. "What is this 'very important matter' you wanted to talk about?"

Dave took a deep breath and stood up, opting for pacing quickly around the room. Then he sat down again and tried to get comfortable. Then he stood up and resumed his pacing.

"Dude, sit down! You makin me feel sick." Dave stared at his friend, eyes pleading, and Azimio's eyes softened a bit. He tapped the place on the bed next to him and his best friend sat down silently.

"What did you wanna tell me?"

"I...This is very hard for me to say."

"Wait, lemme guess. You joined Glee club?" He said, his voice flat.

Dave wasn't surprised that he knew about that. The only rumor going around school about him now was hardly a rumor, as everyone knew it was true. Two boys from the football team who had been watching Dave's last performance in Glee club decided to record it and upload it to youtube. Funny enough, they were so quick to upload it as fast as possible that they missed the kiss that was sure to be the talk of the entire school.

"No, not that. It's something else."

"So you're saying you _didn't_ sing in Glee club? You sayin that video is a fake?"

"No, it's real. I'm saying that I have something...more pressing to tell you."

"Then say it already, dude."

Dave got off his bed slowly and went to his dresser, pulling from the top drawer a small t-shirt. He came back to the bed and handed the shirt to Azimio before sitting down. On the front it said _Dave and Az _and on the back it said _Best friends for life_.

"Do you remember when we made these?" Azimio picked up the shirt and spun it around, a wide grin on his face.

"Hell yeah. Damn, we'd get our asses kicked if we ever wore these to school now."

"Yeah, we would," Dave laughed quietly. "But do you remember the promise we made? Do you remember what we swore we would never allow to happen?"

"Yeah, 'I solomnly swear to never turn my back on my brother.' Can't believe we made these when we were only seven."

"And I've never turned my back on my brother, have I?"

Az looked at him, his eyes darkening from the serious turn of the conversation. Dave was remembering back to the time they spent summer camp together right before second grade, only two weeks after Azimio's family had moved to Lima.

"No, you haven't. And I'll never turn my back on my brother. Tell me what you wanted me to know." Azimio's eyes were softened by their memories and Dave suddenly felt the courage to push the words out.

"I'm gay."

He closed his eyes tight, scared to see the look crossing his friend's face when he found out that Dave was exactly what he had hated for so many years. Memories filled his mind of all the times that they had pushed Kurt around for being gay. Would Azimio feel the same way about him as he did about Kurt? Would the football team turn against him?

"I can't believe you!"

Dave's eyes shot open at the tone of disgust coming from his friend. He looked at Azimio only to see that he friend had pushed himself off the bed and was hovering over Dave. He flinched and tried to stay calm.

"Come on, Az, you know I can't control this!"

"Not _that_! How could you...How could you treat _him_ like that, when you're just the same way?"

Dave's eyebrows pulled together in confusion before realization washed over him. Azimio was talking about Kurt.

"I was afraid. I didn't know what else to do!"

"Fucking _pathetic_ excuse!" Azimio paced up and down the room, his face twisted in anger. Dave jumped up and grabbed his shoulder, preventing him from moving.

"Don't even try to pull that superiority bullshit! You know you would've done the same damn thing if this were you!" Dave couldn't understand why Azimio was so mad. It didn't make any sense to him.

Azimio grabbed the shirt off the bed and held it up.

"You wanna know why I'm pissed right now? Because _this_-" he stabbed the words _best friends for life_. "-doesn't mean shit!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You let me fuck with a boy for being gay! You let me talk you into doing it! You let me insult this kid every day and you _never _said anything against it! You know what that means? Means I didn't just throw things at Hummel. I didn't just push Hummel into lockers. I didn't just say nasty things to Hummel. I said bad things to _every _gay person, I abused everyone like him. And that includes you."

Azimio stepped real close to Dave, breathing hard and fast, and Dave was frozen in place. Tears leaked down Azimio's face but he didn't wipe them away.

"You _let _me abuse you. I promised to never turn my back on you, and you let me turn my back on you without even realizing it. How could you do that?"

"I-I never even thought-"

"You never thought what? That I'd _care? _I'm the worst friend in the world. And you're no better. So this means nothing now." He threw the shirt in Dave's face and spun on his heel, racing down the stairs at an alarming pace. He was out the door before the first sob escaped Dave's lips.

**I love when I plan on writing one thing, and as I write it morphs into another thing completely. Anyways, tell me what you thought! Thanks for reading :)**

**~Alex**


	10. Chapter 10

Dave had never been good at fixing things. Whether it was the engine of a car or a relationship hanging by a thread, he just never knew how to fix it. He wasn't exactly what you'd called eloquent; he didn't have the right words for the right moment. It had taken him long enough to make things better between he and Kurt, and that was only achieved by wearing a dorky red hat and crying. _Crying_.

Dave seriously doubted crying would work on Azimio.

He had to do something, though. Azimio hadn't looked at him in over a week. There had been distance between them for months now, but this was different. This was what Azimio wanted, apparently.

Dave had come to the point where he didn't even want to think about it anymore. He wanted to lock himself away in his room and never come out.

O.o.O

"Hey man, can I talk to you?"

Jeff had one headphone in his ear, smiling to himself while he grabbed his books out of his locker and swayed softly to Enya. He had woken up this morning feeling like something beautiful was going to happen and so far his day hadn't contradicted his thoughts. So yes, it was an Enya kind of day.

He had been so deep in his little world that the sound of someone else's voice, a voice he barely recognized, sent him jumping out of his skin the very moment he decided to stick his head in his locker. He pulled his head out, rubbing the spot where he was sure a bump would present itself later, and was shocked to see Azimio leaning on the locker next to his.

"I'm sorry, what are you doing here?" He asked politely.

"I need to talk to you about Dave."

"Well, I need coffee," Jeff said, shaking his hair out. "So I hope you don't mind taking this conversation to a coffee shop."

"Not at all. I could use some caffeine."

The boys wandered silently over to the Lima Bean and got their coffees without saying a word to each other. Jeff didn't try to make small talk, figuring that Azimio would say what he had to say when he was ready. At least he knew that what he had to say wouldn't be negative; nobody goes to get coffee with someone when they have something bad to say to them.

"So..." Azimio started. Jeff licked the side of his cup and set it down, staring up at the boy. "I don't know what to do about Dave."

"What's there to do?"

"You know..." He shifted, looking slightly unconfortable.

"Azimio, we're both dudes. _Talk _to me, Dammit." They both let out sighs before Azimio sat up straight.

"I'm hurt, okay? I feel like shit. I hurt so many people, and I hurt my...my brother, without even realizing I was doing it. And he never told me. I don't know what to do now." He hung his head. Jeff pushed Azimio's coffee closer and he grabbed it, sipping the steaming liquid just to have something to do.

"Did it ever occur to you that he didn't tell you because he was afraid he'd lose you?" Azimio stared at him like he had three heads.

"Why would he ever think that?"

"Gee, I wonder why. Did you _ever _give any sign that you'd still accept him if he was gay?"

As Jeff sipped his coffee, rubbing the edges to wipe off excess coffee, Azimio stared at the wall deep in thought. After a few minutes he hung his head in his hands.

"_Never. _I should have. I _would _have, if I'd had any doubts about his sexuality. I just never thought...Dave-"

"Needs you to be his friend right now, above all else. He loves you, Az." Jeff stood up, nodded, and left the startled boy to his thoughts.

O.o.O

"David, your friend is here!" His father's shouts were followed by the unmistakable sound of Azimio's heavy footsteps making their way up his staircase and to his room. Dave pulled himself off the bed and sat on the edge. He didn't know why Azimio was here but, whatever the reason, he refused to let Az see him curled up in a ball on his bed like a pathetic waste of space. Even if it _did_ make him feel better.

His door was open a crack so Azimio walked right in and shut it behind him softly. Dave heard his deep sigh before his friend turned to face him, a small smile playing on his lips.

"He's a real keeper, y'know," he said as he sat on the bed next to Dave.

"Who?"

"That Jeff kid. Really smart. That's good; now you have someone to cheat off tests and homework." Dave rolled his eyes at his...friend?

"You know I've never been a fan of cheating."

"He's still a keeper. He cares about you a lot..." Azimio twittled his thumbs, waiting for Dave to say something.

"I'm sorry I never told you. I was scared, I guess. I didn't want to lose you." Az looked up from his thumbs and smiled wider, though his eyes were fogging up with tears.

"I know. But I should have made it clear that I'd always support you, no matter who you are. You're my best friend, Dave. Ain't nobody or nothing gonna change that." Then Az did something he rarely ever did. He leaned over and gave Dave a _real_ hug, none of that "man-hug" bullshit that he usually pulled. And Dave felt lighter because he knew that, for now, he had nothing to worry about.

Except for that duet in Glee club. _Crap._

* * *

><p>PLEASE READ:<p>

Okay, so I'm not too satisfied about this chapter. Haven't been feeling this story lately, so it's hard for me to write. I wanted to put a chapter up for you guys so I didn't keep you waiting, but please keep in mind that I am a first semester college student, and anyone who is in college now will tell you that the first semester is one of the hardest. I'm very busy, and therefore won't be up-dating any of my stories that often (unfortunately). I have several new ones floating around in my head, but I'm afraid that if I write them I'll neglect this one, so I'm holding off. Terribly sorry about the long wait! There will be (I think) one more chapter for this fic. Thanks for sticking with it!

~Alex


	11. Chapter 11

**PLEASE READ!**

**Last night while I was attempting to sleep I started thinking about this poor, neglected story, and about three things I was absolutely positive: First, I was a terrible updater. Second, there was a part of me (and I wasn't sure how dominant this part was) that desperately wanted to finish the story. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably going to make a sequel. Yes, yes I did just say that. Read the end author's note for more details, and enjoy!**

**Warning: This chapter contains the teeth-rotting fluff you have all been waiting for.  
>Song: "Good to You" by Mariannas Trench<br>**

Dave felt lighter than air. Having Azimio on his side meant the world to him, and knowing he was on his way to Glee Club added a skip in his steps. Not necessarily because of the club itself- he was still getting used to being a part of the "family". But a certain someone made it all worth it.

When Dave entered the room he was greeted with a huge smile from Jeff, who gracefully slid on to the seat next to Dave and placed a gentle kiss on his boyfriend's cheek. Dave turned bright red and smiled softly over at the blond.

"Are you ready for this?" Jeff was bouncing up and down in his seat. Dave reached out and placed a hand on his lap to end his bouncing.

"Calm down, you're making me nervous," he smiled nervously over at the happy teen.

"You have got to be kidding me! David, you sang Adam Lambert in front of these people. You can't seriously _still _be nervous about performing in front of them."

"But this is...different. And I am a bit nerv- will you _calm_ your _bouncing_? It's making me feel sea sick..." Dave cracked a smile and Jeff knew that the boy was only teasing him. He eyed his friend for a second before his eyes narrowed.

"_Adam Lambert_," he repeated. Dave laughed, grabbed his hand, and brought it to his lips. The soft kiss he placed upon Jeff's elegant fingers made the boy blush.

"Alright guys, it's duet time!" Mr. Schue bustled into the room, hands thrown up in the air in excitement. "Dave, Jeff, I want you two to go first. Floor is all yours!"

Jeff stood immediately and presented Dave with his hand, which the boy took tentatively. He was vaguely aware of a few cat-calls and some 'awws' coming from the girls but he couldn't concentrate on that. He had to remember the lyrics to this song they chose.

They had decided, in the end, to sing a romantic duet after all. They had been through too much in the passed few weeks to ignore the chemistry between them, even in their music. Dave enjoyed the duet greatly but was still a little unsure about singing it with Jeff. He was nervous about it, but not for the reasons Jeff assumed.

After all, he had gotten used to singing in front of the show choir. What he wouldn't admit was that he was mostly just nervous about singing this particular song _to _Jeff. Dave was new at romance; he didn't want to promise the beautiful boy anything he couldn't follow through with, and this song was one _big _promise. It almost seemed like he was setting himself up for failure and setting Jeff up for heartbreak.

He tried not to think about this as they took the floor and he heard his que.

"_Everyone's around, no words are coming out, and I can't find my breath, can we just say the rest with no sound?" _He thought about how much his life had changed since he first met Jeff - had it really only been two weeks ago? - and how much he had grown. He also thought about his mistakes. He had made so many; they were impossible to ignore at this point. But he had learned from them. "_And I know this isn't enough, I still don't measure up, and I'm not prepared, sorry is never there when you need it!_"

His eyes met Jeff's and he was caught up in the depth, the over-whelming feeling behind his blues eyes. He turned slowly and let his voice carry over the heavy bass.

"_I do want you to know I'll hold you up above everyone; and I do want you to know I think you'll be good to me, and I'll be so good to you...I would..."_

Jeff smiled and took a step forward, reaching his hand out and placing it in Dave's. Their fingers slid together perfectly, as if they were meant to be there, made just for each other.

"_I thought I saw a sign somewhere between the lines, and maybe it's real, maybe I only see what I want. And I still have your letters, just got caught between someone I just invented, who I really am and who I've become."_

He pulled Dave close enough to him that their chests touched and they sang the last verse together.

_"And I do want you to know_

_I'll hold you up above everyone._

_And I do want you to know _

_I think you'll be good to me_

_and I'll be so good to you._

_So good to you."_

When the last chord faded out Dave's ears were once more filled with the sounds of cheers and applause, but he didn't pay attention. In the back of his mind he felt sort of bad; these guys always cheered for them and they never responded. But Dave couldn't feel too bad with Jeff smiling up at him, eyes shining with happiness, knowing that the toughest part of their relationship was over.

"Thank you," Jeff whispered as the two took their seats and Rachel and Finn took the floor.

"Why are you thanking _me_?" Dave asked, confused.

"Because you let me in." His smile brought tears to Dave's eyes and he blinked rapidly to rid them.

"No, thank you. For never giving up on me."

They leaned across the seats and shared one last sweet kiss, hands clasped together tight, before turning their attention to the singers in front of them. Even so, they took the liberty of stealing shy glances every few seconds, blushing with happiness the entire time.

**Wow, I should have written that a _loooong _time ago. I deeply apologize to ALL of you who have taken the time to read, review, fave, etc. I really appreciate your support in this. And now, I'm sure some of you are wondering about the sequel.**

**YES, THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL! WOOOT!**

**Since I obviously suck at updating I've decided to change my tactics for the sequel. I'm going to write at least four chapters before I post the first chapter, that way I'm always ahead and don't leave readers waiting for months (bad Alex!). Now, on to the actual details:**

**_Title: Desensitize_  
><em>Summary: There's a lot more to dating a man than sweet kisses in the rain. The Summer after they get together, Dave realizes he still has a lot of insecurities about himself and his relationship, but Jeff is there to help him overcome each one.<em>  
><strong>

**This will be posted very soon. If you want an alert when I post it, either author alert me or leave a review asking me to PM you when I post it. Thanks for sticking with this, and I hope you will stick around for the (very interesting) sequel!And yes, there will be LOTS of Deff fluff in it :)  
><strong>

**~Alex  
><strong>


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